Why, though? A creepy mask with no FDA clearance

They say beauty is pain. And in the case of Rejuvenique, that meant electrocuting your face while looking like you were about to participate in The Purge.

In a 1999 infomercial featuring “Dynasty” star Linda Evans, Rejuvenique creator George E. Springer promises that the odd white mask — priced at $180, or ~$338 today — can do for the face what exercise does for the body, toning the muscles for a more youthful appearance.

However…

… the product was never FDA-approved, with a spokesperson saying there was “no assurance” that the device was effective or safe. Plus:

• The Tampa Bay Times found no proof that Springer was a licensed medical professional in Florida, where he lived at the time, despite often being quoted as a doctor.
• Experts pointed out that stimulating your facial muscles would lead to more lines and wrinkles.
• Some reviewers found it painful, akin to being bitten by a horde of ants.

By 2001, the product had disappeared from the airwaves, though you can find it on eBay — and Linda Evans was apparently still using it as recently as 2019.

You can also find…

… a new host of light therapy masks for sale that have all the same creepy vibes, plus a spooky red light for ambiance.

Do they work? While red light therapy may improve some skin conditions, most at-home devices aren’t powerful enough to produce significant results.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that people will try anything to remain young and beautiful — even if it makes them look like the killer in a giallo film.