A very scary Zuck-mas and a crappy New Year: 2018’s failed attempt to ‘fix’ Facebook

After a recent New York Times bombshell exposé revealed abuse of user data, Facebook’s market cap dropped by about $30B.

Sound familiar? It should: Facebook has battled one scandal after another all year, despite Zuckerberg’s 2018 resolution to ‘fix Facebook.’

So, in the spirit of the holidays, we’ve decided to compile a whimsical, holiday-themed lowlight reel:

The 12 scandals of Zuck-mas:

1. On the 1st day of Zuck-mas, Mueller gave to us: An indictment of Russians who hacked F-B.
2. On the 2nd day of Zuck-mas, the UN gave to us: FB’s role in Myanmar’s tragedy.
3. On the 3rd day of Zuck-mas, the NYT gave to us: The mess that Cambridge Analytica made.
4. On the 4th day of Zuck-mas, Congress gave to us: Thousands of FB ads for which Russia paid.
5. On the 5th day of Zuck-mas, the NYT gave to us: Details of undisclosed deals with device makers.
6. On the 6th day of Zuck-mas, FB gave to us: Info about an Iranian network of frauds and fakers.
7. On the 7th day of Zuck-mas, the ACLU gave to us: A report about FB’s tools for gender discrimination.
8. On the 8th day of Zuck-mas, FB gave to us: A massive data breach of 50m users’ information.
9. On the 9th day of Zuck-mas, FB gave to us: A confession they lied about video advertising metrics and terms.
10. On the 10th day of Zuck-mas, the NYT gave to us: A report FB weaponized opposition research firms.
11. On the 11th day of Zuck-mas, FB gave to us: A report that 6.8m users’ photos were stolen by strangers.
12. On the 12th day of Zuck-mas, the NYT gave to us: News that FB shared personal info with partners despite the dangers.

Can Facebook ever be fixed?

By May, Zuckerberg himself admitted he wouldn’t be able to fix Facebook in a year — or even 3 years. And as Facebook flounders for Band-Aid solutions, regulators are starting to make their own resolutions.

As Facebook enters 2019, it will be under more pressure than ever from investors, senators, and, most importantly, users.

Last year Facebook was still a social giant making excuses. But, this year, Facebook’s playing defense — and it’s going to take more than a few turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree to win back public trust.